How To Live The Life You Want

Living the life you want is very important to your happiness. If you try to live your life the way other people expect you to, you will be letting yourself down. The first step to living the life you want is to find out what is it exactly that you want.


  1. Spend some time by yourself. I don’t mean spending time at home doing nothing. Spend time travelling, doing things and going to places alone. When you’re alone, you make your own decisions and you don’t have to please anyone else. This gives you amazing insights about yourself. When your decisions only affect you and when only you can make the decisions, you learn a lot about yourself and about what you really want.
  2. Listen to yourself. Don’t take what others say as true for you. Sometimes you make decisions and everyone you know thinks you’re making a mistake. They give you advice and try to ‘help’ you. They might mean well but only you know what is best for you. If you feel it’s right, don’t listen to others and go after what you want.
  3. Persist. Sometimes it takes long to get what you want. Sometimes it seems impossible. But if you try hard, eventually things start going in the right direction.
  4. Make decisions. This is actually the hardest one for me but I found out it’s the most important. When you’re stuck, make a decision. Usually whatever decision you make will make you feel better. When you make a decision, you can start moving forward. You will find out if you’re going in the right direction or not but at least you’re not stuck in the same place.

11 thoughts on “How To Live The Life You Want

  1. Some of your posts make me think about my life, and sometimes this makes me sad.
    For example, I don’t know what I want……I don’t even know what I like, what defines me…
    If only there were an easy way to find that out…

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  4. All the four advices are extremely important, but I’ve started to understand that the first one is really essential. In my life, I have always tried to please others and have always had a very hard time making decisions. Why? Because of my upbringing and some other things, but mostly, because I wanted to please everybody. So then my decisions reflected that. Or better, I could never really make decisions. Somebody else made them for me: my parents, for a long time, social pressure, male partners…

    Now I can see how important it is that you learn how to make decisions BY yourself and FOR yourself. It’s tough learning and I haven’t mastered it yet. It’s work in progress, but I am trying.

    Moreover, finding out what you want is fundamental, but not the most fundamental thing. Life might work pretty well if you at least know what you DON’T want and make decisions based on that. Then you might find what you want, or even find that there can be many things you want.

  5. I know cause I was exactly the same. I remember us talking about this one night in your living room and both of us came to the conclusion that we couldn’t make decisions by ourselves. I think we came a long way since then 🙂
    I think knowing what you want is something so open. It can be related to anything, not something specific. Maybe what you want is peace or have a happy marriage or live without stress…

    • Lou, it’s incredible how important that evening was, right? I always think about it when I read about topics related to this post. I am glad we had such meaningful eye-opening evening together, which by the way became even better with some Eisenbahns. 😀

      • I know. It was so meaningful to me too, I’m never gonna forget it. It was amazing that together we could finally figure out what we were both doing wrong and it’s funny that we had the exact same problem. That’s why our Caracol evenings were so important as well. We learn so much about ourselves just by being open and able to share how we feel with others.

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