We all have time, we just decide what to do with it. And sometimes we don’t make this decision wisely. If we want to make time, we need to think about it. How are you spending your time? Are you doing the things that are really important to you? Are you focusing on your priorities?
A couple of months ago, I decided to analyse how I was spending my time and I noticed that I was spending way too much time commuting. I thought I didn’t have time but I actually had been spending about 1 hour and 20 minutes of my day just travelling to and from work. Now I needed to rearrange things. How could I spend my time better? Should I cycle to work? Should I get a license? Should I move closer to work? I decided on the last option and started looking for a place. I have to be honest, I wasn’t looking very hard. However, funnily enough, my landlady sold the house and gave me 1 month and a half notice. Now I was being forced to move. It was really stressful to look for a new place but now I found it and guess what, it’s closer to work. Maybe that was the universe helping me get what I wanted.
So my point is: If you want to make time, analyse how you’ve been spending it, spot the problem, look for solutions and make changes. Hopefully the universe will give you a little help as well =)
I’m reading a book called The Tibetan Art of Serenity by Christopher Hansard and this book explains that all our problems are caused by fear. You need to get rid of fear to live the life you want. Fear encourages the abuse of women, poverty, misinformation, misuse of economics, agriculture and industry. Fear is the root of environmental pollution, global warming, social unrest, the abuse of human rights, terrorism and global breakdown. It is by finding serenity that we can heal our individual fears and make this world a better place. The path to stop our fear starts with identifying them. Which fears do we suffer from?
“The greatest benefit of fear is that when you understand it, you know that you can heal it.”
There are twelve types of fear. Identify your fear from this list:
Fears of the Everyday Mind
- The fear of being yourself
This is the only fear that all people have and all other fears come from this one.
- The fear of other people
It is this fear that causes violence, terrorism and evil. In many societies, this fear is encouraged.
- The fear of power and control
People think that having power over others will bring them satisfaction but power and control should only be motivated by inner development.
- The fear of love
This is the fear of hurt and rejection. When we love, we are vulnerable.
- The fear of loneliness
We need to discover the pleasure of our own company.
- The fear of fear itself
Sometimes people avoid life and become isolated and lonely because they want to avoid fear.
- The fear of death and dying
This is not the fear of the event but of the discovery. What happens when I die?
Fears of the Material World
- The fear of success and failure
Some people achieve success and don’t know how to live with it and take responsibility for it. Usually the same people can’t live with failure and accept the loss of their dreams.
- The fear of poverty and wealth
These fears come from the desire of controlling the material world. You want lots of money because you feel unsafe and you fear poverty because you think you’re in constant danger.
- The fear of the future and what it will bring
This fear comes from the dissatisfaction and inability to be content.
- The fear of achievement and self-esteem
We want to achieve more to raise our self-esteem but we fear achievements because our self-esteem is too low to cope with it.
- The fear of war and illness
This fear is bigger today that it has ever been because media makes us aware of their existence and we are forced to confront them every day.
Now which of these fears do you suffer from? After identifying them, you are ready to meditate on them, let them go and finally find serenity.
Cover via Amazon
- The Tibetan Art of Serenity (thebookmonsterblog.wordpress.com)
Brotips is a website with words of wisdom and advice for bros all over the world. Most of the time it’s just hilarious but some of the tips are really good pieces of advice, not only for bros but for everyone. So here are 30 pieces of advice that actually came from Bro Tips:
- Act like you’re awesome.
- Your past is just your past.
- Do something for the first time every day.
- Don’t take out your frustration on people that are there for you.
- Never make decisions when you’re angry. Or horny.
- 90% of the things you worry about will never happen.
- Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.
- Anything that comes easily in life is usually not worth doing.
- Flip coins to make decisions, don’t worry about the result. You’ll know what you’re hoping for as soon as it leaves your hand.
- If you bite off more than you can chew, fucking chew it anyway.
- Do what you’ve been waiting to do, in case “someday” never comes.
- Why not?
- Happiness is attractive.
- Kill your doubts.
- Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.
- Before asking someone why they hate you, ask yourself why you even care.
- Do you. Trying to please everyone will leave no one happy.
- Let your past make you better, not bitter.
- One phrase everyone should be able to utilize: “eh, fuck it”.
- Some of the best moments in life come from doing things that scare you the most.
- If you have to constantly ask yourself if something is worth, it’s probably not.
- No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
- If you weren’t you, would you want to be your bro?
- Your first instinct is usually right.
- Don’t spend all your time analysing.
- The hardest thing to say is usually worth saying.
- It’s never worth it to give up what you want most for what you want now.
- Smile no matter what.
- Make today awesome. Don’t live it like it’s your last day, live it like it’s today.
- You have to let people live their lives, even if you think they’re doing it wrong.
When we are feeling down, sometimes we just want to put on our headphones and mope while listening to sad songs. But what we really should be doing is listen to happy songs. I always have a happy playlist on my iPod or Spotify or whatever I use to listen to music and I try to listen to it as often as possible. So here is a compilation of 10 songs that will lift your mood:
- Corinne Bailey Rae – Put Your Records On: Since we are talking about music, nothing better than this great advice “Girl (or boy), put your records on, tell me your favourite song, you go ahead, let your hair down” . Doesn’t it make you want to play your favourite song and dance away on a sunny day?
- Sheryl Crow – All I Wanna Do:There are many reasons for a song to be happy, maybe the melody, maybe the lyrics. In this case, the lyrics definitely play a big part. When I listen to this song, I always think that this should be the whole point of life, just have some fun.
- Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy: Who doesn’t know this one? It’s like a mantra of happiness. You can learn some rules of happiness through this song. 1-“In every life we have some trouble when you worry you make it double”. 2- “When you worry your face will frown and that will bring everybody down”. 3-“It will soon pass whatever it is.”
- Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song: This is such a cheerful song. And don’t you just love those lazy days when you can sit around and do nothing? Even though it doesn’t make any sense because of the lyrics, this is actually my wakeup alarm. It just makes me want to sing and move my head from side to side or back and forth.
- Blink 182 – All The Small Things: Another cheerful song that makes you want to jump. But this one reminds me of my teenage years. Plus the video is funny.
- Bob Marley – Three Little Birds: Another happiness mantra. How can you not feel at least a little bit better when listening to this song?
- Jack Johnson – Banana Pancakes: This is my official morning song. After my wakeup alarm I need something relaxing. I think this is one of the most relaxing songs ever. All Jack Johnson’s song are pretty relaxing, this is my personal favourite though. Also good to remember to appreciate what you have. “We got everything we need right here and everything we need is enough.”
- Poison – Nothing But A Good Time: One of those songs that just makes you want to party and forget about everything else.
- Chumbawamba – Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down): A great reminder to keep going whatever happens. Sometimes life is hard and you get knocked down but you should always get up again and never give up.
- Israel Kamakawiwo’ole – Somewhere Over The Rainbow/ What A Wonderful World: I decided to leave the best for last. This is possibly the most awesome song ever. It’s a mix of his amazing voice, relaxing rhythm and beautiful lyrics that just makes the whole thing perfect. You can listen to them separately as well but this medley is doubly happy.
- Quotes About Happiness From Songs (mademan.com)
- Happy Songs (zerostepsback.wordpress.com)
I used to feel down about every little thing that didn’t work out. I would get stressed and upset and sometimes even panic. Then I started to look back and I realized that some little things that upset me earlier in my life ended up being for the best. You never know what the future will bring and sometimes you can get more if things don’t go as expected.
“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama
I have been trying to keep this in mind all the time and I don’t feel as stressed as I used to. Here are two examples of bad things that ended up being good:
1. Not getting a room
When I was in Cardiff, I had to find a place to stay and I decided to take this room. I sent an email to the guy but he didn’t see it and gave the room to someone else. I got really stressed at the time but it ended up being for the best. I decided to move from Cardiff and got a job as a teacher in Oxford which was what I wanted. If I had stayed in Cardiff, I’d probably still be working at a nightclub since there are not many teaching jobs there.
2. Being kicked out
Fate works in funny ways. My friend had to leave her house and had nowhere to go so she ended up going home to her grandpa’s house. She spent a few weeks with him before getting a job and finding another place. About one month after my friend left, her grandpa got really ill and after some time in hospital, he passed away. If my friend hadn’t been kicked out, she wouldn’t have spent those last few weeks with her grandpa. That time they spent together meant everything to her.
Now when I don’t get the job or the room or when I’m forced to move out or when something is cancelled, I always think: it might be for the best.