Are you making the right changes?

Most people are afraid of changes. Having to adapt to change is one of the biggest causes of stress and anxiety.It’s obvious that big changes like moving houses or starting a new job come with a lot of pressure and difficult situations to deal with. However, even small changes like a shop closing in the neighbourhood can make people feel uncomfortable sometimes. We get attached to the things we are used to.

Even though it’s difficult, we should embrace change. It’s proven that our brains thrive on small changes to our routine. Rearrange the furniture, take a different route to work, eat something new and your brain will thank you.

There are the people (like me) who love and feel inspired by changes. The problem is when you keep looking for something eternally and is never satisfied.

Do you feel like you change cities, jobs, partners and still complains about the same problems? You might be making external changes without examining yourself first and your contribution to each situation. We actually have the tendency to look for peace outside instead of inside ourselves and this is the wrong way to approach change.

Sometimes the change we need to do is in ourselves. So I invite you to evaluate your problems and think if they’ve been repeating themselves in different situations. If so, what can you do to change not only your life but yourself?

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Latest findings about happiness

Happiness is very abstract and difficult to explain. However, scientist have been trying to find the key to being happy for many years. This post shows three of the latest scientific researches about happiness.

1. The key to our happiness is connection not competition

This is something I always teach in yoga as it is the most basic principle of the philosophy. Yoga IS connection. I think connection can be related to happiness in a broader meaning, not only connection with other people but the connection between our mind, body and soul.

The research focus more on cooperation and helping others.

“In workplaces, research from Adam Grant, professor of management at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School shows that “givers” – people who help others without seeking anything in return – are more successful in the long term than “takers” – who try to maximise benefits for themselves, rather than others. For society as a whole, the World Happiness Report 2013, a major global study, found that two of the strongest explanatory factors for national wellbeing are levels of social support and generosity. Our success as a society directly depends on the extent to which we see each other as a source of support rather than a source of threat.”

http://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/2015/mar/20/key-to-happiness-connection-not-competition

2. Life improves with age

This research will give you hope if you’re going through a difficult time, especially with your significant other.

“Research studies compiled at Buffalo University and Northwestern University followed 156 aging couples for 20 years focusing on the affects of aging and happiness. They found that these older couples argued much less and were more likely to agree to disagree instead of fight. It seems that as people age they learn how to direct their energy and attitudes better and feel less of a need to be right, and more of a need for peace and harmony.”

“Another study published in the Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science followed 198,888 people from 83 countries and found that as people age, there is an increase in trust. This trust translates into a higher level of well being and general happiness.”

http://www.citywatchla.com/wellness-leads-hidden/454-wellness-leads/8737-science-study-life-improves-with-age

3. Chatting with strangers can make you happier

Most people like to keep to themselves during their morning commute but this study shows that we might be missing on the opportunity of a more pleasant experience.

“While participants predicted their ride would be more enjoyable sitting in solitude, the research team found the exact opposite — those asked to engage in conversation reported a more positive, and no less productive, experience.”

http://uk.businessinsider.com/talking-to-strangers-on-commute-makes-you-happier-2015-3?r=US#ixzz3Vy51bMQp

Who is responsible for your stress?

“If we took time to explore the real root causes of all forms of stress, we would find that both lazy and distorted thinking lie behind the various emotions that we find stressful. In most developed cultures, no-one tells us that we are each responsible for our own thoughts and feelings. We miss learning the lesson of inner self-responsibility which reminds us that we create our own stress in life by the way we perceive and respond to others and the world.” – Mike George

We tend to blame other people for the way we feel. Someone ‘made’ you angry or sad. However, the truth is no-one can make you feel anything, except yourself. Most of us over-analyse and pay attention to everyone and everything around us all the time.  Instead of projecting our stress onto others, we need to learn how to train our own emotions and our mind. But how do we do that?

  • MeditationDSC08634softer
  • Yoga
  • Self-knowledge (you can start with these questions)
  • Mindfulness
  • Therapy if necessary
  • Acting from the heart

Any other ideas?

Related posts

Happiness is a skill

Life is full of choices

120 Questions To Make You Think

The project is finally over and since it’s the beginning of the year, it’s time to start answering all the questions again and notice the changes in your life. That’s when it goes beyond just answers and becomes self-improvement.

Click to see the posts and answer the questions for each month:

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November (first one so it explains everything)

December

Enjoy 🙂

10 Questions To Make You Think – October

So this post has been here since September but as I said, I didn’t have time to update the website. I realise it’s absurdly late but that’s the last post of questions and it completes the project. I’ll make a post with all of them next.

  1. What do you crave?
    Sometimes you can allow yourself some little pleasures. We make a lot of resolutions and objectives and try to control ourselves but every once in a while we should just let go.
  2. In three words, describe your love life.
    Whether we like it or not, our love life has a big influence on our happiness. We should try to remember that happiness is within ourselves and that we shouldn’t depend on anyone else for our happiness. (I’ll be honest and say I find it hard to follow this advice most times).
  3. Do you have any new friends?
    Friends make everything so much better. There are so many amazing people in this world. I’m sure you have great friends but there’s always room for one more.
  4. Are you happy with your choices today?
    This is something that’s extremely important. We make choices all the time and then we have to live with them so make sure your choices are making you happy and following your principles.
  5. What is your biggest dream?
    Make sure you’re taking steps to achieve it, even if they are really small steps. Don’t leave your dream tucked away in a closet.
  6. What makes you feel wonderful?
    Make sure you have more of that every day 🙂
  7. You need patience for _________.
    Patience requires practice. Think about it positively: “This was brought into my life to help me improve my patience.”
  8. How much time do you spend commuting?
    Commuting is sometimes part of life but we need to make sure it’s worth it. If you can find a useful way to spend your commuting time, even if it’s just in silence meditating then it’s not wasted time. But if commuting is making you miserable then it might be time for some changes.
  9. Who do you count on?
    It’s always important to remember who are the people we can look for in troubled times. Be grateful and don’t take them for granted.
  10. How do you feel about your body?
    Your body doesn’t have to be perfect but being healthy is a part of happiness. Learn to accept your faults and don’t compare.