“If we took time to explore the real root causes of all forms of stress, we would find that both lazy and distorted thinking lie behind the various emotions that we find stressful. In most developed cultures, no-one tells us that we are each responsible for our own thoughts and feelings. We miss learning the lesson of inner self-responsibility which reminds us that we create our own stress in life by the way we perceive and respond to others and the world.” – Mike George
We tend to blame other people for the way we feel. Someone ‘made’ you angry or sad. However, the truth is no-one can make you feel anything, except yourself. Most of us over-analyse and pay attention to everyone and everything around us all the time. Instead of projecting our stress onto others, we need to learn how to train our own emotions and our mind. But how do we do that?
- Self-knowledge (you can start with these questions)
- Therapy if necessary
- Acting from the heart
Any other ideas?
Happiness is a skill
Life is full of choices
Hello everyone 🙂
I’m really sorry this website has been abandoned for a few months but I didn’t have time because I’ve been working on a big project. I am now a qualified yoga instructor and I’m going to start teaching in Oxford in February so I spent a lot of time creating all the promotion.
I have a new website: The Yoga Box
And a new facebook page: The Yoga Box
That doesn’t mean I forgot The Happiness Box so updates are coming soon!
Hello happy followers!
I decided to change The Happiness Box theme because I didn’t like how all the links were at the bottom. I think this layout will be much more practical to navigate and it’s just as happy as the last one. What do you guys think?
To make this post a little bit more interesting, here’s a happy picture:
Isn’t this the happiest fish ever? =)
Hope you guys like it!
That was said by a buddhist monk considered the happiest man in the world after studies were conducted on his brain that showed the highest level ever seen in the area of positive emotions.
According to science, happiness is achieved by three different means:
50% is genetic
10% is circumstantial
40% is a skill that we need to cultivate
So how can we practise this skill and cultivate happiness?
Nurturing social connections
Acts of kindness
Living in the present
Working to achieve meaningful goals
Mind training or meditation
Belief in a higher purpose
There are two things that don’t bring happiness according to the studies: money and physical beauty. However, our security needs (food, shelter, safety) need to met. After that, money doesn’t really add to happiness.
Another important point is that human being adapt to changes. Therefore, changes such as getting married, a better job, beautiful housing and winning the lottery only bring temporary happiness. It is proved that after less than one year, lottery winners go back to their earlier levels of happiness. It also works the other way around. When something bad happens, it doesn’t take long for the happiness levels to return to normal.
What else has science learned about happiness or SWB (subjective well-being)?
Temperament is an important factor but some conditions such as being unemployed or living in a poor nation have a long lasting effect.
Some cultures have higher levels of happiness than others because happiness is valued more.
People in unstable or very poor nations have lower levels of happiness.
No one is happy all the time. Even the happiest people get unhappy sometimes.
Happiness is can be correlated with desirable consequences such as sociability, creativity, better marriages, better work performance, stronger physical immunity and resilience.
Happiness doesn’t come from pleasure but from working towards goals that are consistent with our values.
All in all, there are many things that are still uncertain about happiness. But one thing is certain: there’s not only one way to achieve it and a variety of factors play a part in it.
I’ve learned this from a TED talk by Brené Brown. She carried out a research and found out vulnerability is what makes people feel loved and belonging. The talk is really interesting and it’s so easy to relate to her, especially when she talks about her having a breakdown after getting to these results. Watch it, it really is worth it!
You should definitely watch this talk but here are some parts that I believe were particularly useful and I would like to remember. No quotation marks because it’s not exactly what she said but more of a summary:
What whole-hearted people have in common is courage, compassion, connection and vulnerability. Courage means to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. This people have the courage to be imperfect, they have the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others. They are willing to let go of what they should be in order to be who they are. They embrace vulnerability, for example, having the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first.
What we shouldn’t do: Numb vulnerability (we can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing joy) and make the uncertain certain.
What we should do: Let ourselves be seen, love with our whole hearts even when there are no guarantees, knowing that we are imperfect but worthy of love and belonging and knowing that we are enough.