“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.”
— Steven D. Woodhull
This is one of the most amazing quotes ever, in my opinion. This should be like a mantra that we should remember every day.
Life is too short to waste doing things we don’t enjoy and being with people that don’t make us happy. I remember I used to hear this all the time when I was younger: “That’s the way life is, you have to do things you don’t want.” When you think about small things, this is true. I don’t particularly like doing the dishes and cleaning my house but I have to do it. However, when we look at the bigger picture, this saying couldn’t be more wrong. You don’t have to spend your life in a job you don’t love or with people who don’t appreciate you or living in a place you hate. You should fight and find what you love.
If you’re not happy with your situation, something is wrong. It’s not okay to live your life waiting for something. I’m going to be happy when I move away. I’m going to be happy when I finish this course. I’m going to be happy when I have more money. NO! The time to be happy is now. If you’re not happy with your current situation, you have two choices: change it or accept it. By accepting it, I don’t mean settling but actually finding happiness in what you have, enjoying the journey.
I have a new habit, wherever I am and whatever I am doing, I like to think: “One day I’m going to remember this time of my life with a smile on my face.”
Even though things are never perfect, there’s always something good that you’re going to miss. At the same time, if changes occur in your life, there’s always something bad that you finally get rid of.
“People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.” – Eat Pray Love
I really love this quote because it explains the whole point that led me to research about happiness and consequently the reason why I have this blog. I think you need to fight for happiness and not just wait for it to fall into your lap. Sometimes that means you have to make changes. They might be big changes: quitting your job, getting a divorce, moving to another country , travelling the world. Or small changes: sleeping well, waking up earlier, taking up a course, going out more. But sometimes that fight for happiness doesn’t necessarily mean you have to actively do something. Sometimes the effort you have to make is to actually practise acceptance. Instead of fighting against your present situation, you have to accept it and make peace with it in order to find happiness.
I don’t think it’s a choice in the sense that you can just decide “I’m happy now” and you automatically become happy but I think it’s a choice to go after it.
I have been striving for happiness, reading about it, trying different things, making changes. And you might ask me: is it helping? Absolutely! I did go through a rough patch even though I was looking for happiness. I felt like giving up but I didn’t and now I’m finally reaping the rewards of my efforts. I believe that this is the meaning of the quote. You need to try hard to find happiness even if it’s not something you do consciously. Most people don’t wake up one day and think “I’m going on a search for happiness.” However, happy people have decided at some point in their lives consciously or unconsciously to go after what they want, to practise acceptance, to find contentment, etc. I believe it’s more difficult for some people than it is for others. That can happen for various reasons. Maybe your brain, your family or your circumstances don’t help but it is there for you to find. We can all get it if we try hard enough.
Brotips is a website with words of wisdom and advice for bros all over the world. Most of the time it’s just hilarious but some of the tips are really good pieces of advice, not only for bros but for everyone. So here are 30 pieces of advice that actually came from Bro Tips:
- Act like you’re awesome.
- Your past is just your past.
- Do something for the first time every day.
- Don’t take out your frustration on people that are there for you.
- Never make decisions when you’re angry. Or horny.
- 90% of the things you worry about will never happen.
- Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.
- Anything that comes easily in life is usually not worth doing.
- Flip coins to make decisions, don’t worry about the result. You’ll know what you’re hoping for as soon as it leaves your hand.
- If you bite off more than you can chew, fucking chew it anyway.
- Do what you’ve been waiting to do, in case “someday” never comes.
- Why not?
- Happiness is attractive.
- Kill your doubts.
- Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.
- Before asking someone why they hate you, ask yourself why you even care.
- Do you. Trying to please everyone will leave no one happy.
- Let your past make you better, not bitter.
- One phrase everyone should be able to utilize: “eh, fuck it”.
- Some of the best moments in life come from doing things that scare you the most.
- If you have to constantly ask yourself if something is worth, it’s probably not.
- No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
- If you weren’t you, would you want to be your bro?
- Your first instinct is usually right.
- Don’t spend all your time analysing.
- The hardest thing to say is usually worth saying.
- It’s never worth it to give up what you want most for what you want now.
- Smile no matter what.
- Make today awesome. Don’t live it like it’s your last day, live it like it’s today.
- You have to let people live their lives, even if you think they’re doing it wrong.
I am originally from Brazil but I’m currently living in Oxford. Every time I go back to Brazil on holidays, I have this strange feeling that I don’t fit there anymore.
At first, it seemed crazy, I lived in Brazil most of my life and I have only been living in Oxford for two years. So, I thought a lot about it and the conclusion I reached is that I had never actually fit in Brazil. I have always felt that I didn’t belong there. There’s nothing wrong with Brazil, on the contrary, it is a wonderful country. Many people think Brazil is a great place to live. The truth is that when I lived there, I never thought I didn’t belong there, I just thought I didn’t belong anywhere. That’s because I didn’t know anything different from the life I had there.
Nowhere is perfect. If you expect it to be, you will never be satisfied anywhere. There are things that are better in Brazil and other things that are better in England but the important part was to weigh the things that were important to me, my priorities. According to my priorities, Oxford is a better place to live at the moment (although not the best). But I am well aware that Oxford is not the best place to live for everyone. There are actually many Brazilians that come to live here and can’t wait to go back.
A proof of that is that people from England constantly ask me “Why the hell would you want to leave Brazil?”. But at the same time, people from Brazil ask me how they can move to England and say how lucky I am to be able to live here.
The best place to live is the place that satisfies your most important priorities. They say the best place to live in the world is Vienna in Austria but I’m sure a surfer wouldn’t think so.
Living the life you want is very important to your happiness. If you try to live your life the way other people expect you to, you will be letting yourself down. The first step to living the life you want is to find out what is it exactly that you want.
- Spend some time by yourself. I don’t mean spending time at home doing nothing. Spend time travelling, doing things and going to places alone. When you’re alone, you make your own decisions and you don’t have to please anyone else. This gives you amazing insights about yourself. When your decisions only affect you and when only you can make the decisions, you learn a lot about yourself and about what you really want.
- Listen to yourself. Don’t take what others say as true for you. Sometimes you make decisions and everyone you know thinks you’re making a mistake. They give you advice and try to ‘help’ you. They might mean well but only you know what is best for you. If you feel it’s right, don’t listen to others and go after what you want.
- Persist. Sometimes it takes long to get what you want. Sometimes it seems impossible. But if you try hard, eventually things start going in the right direction.
- Make decisions. This is actually the hardest one for me but I found out it’s the most important. When you’re stuck, make a decision. Usually whatever decision you make will make you feel better. When you make a decision, you can start moving forward. You will find out if you’re going in the right direction or not but at least you’re not stuck in the same place.