Perfect is overrated

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

These days are the days of hurry, urgent, instantaneous. We all want what we want right now. But how much can we actually achieve in a hurry and without effort? I’m totally guilty of impatience and it’s hard for me to admit that getting what you want takes time. One reason for that was that I always had in the back of my mind that my life had to be perfect, that I needed to have exactly what I wanted in order to be happy. But that’s obviously impossible. Life is never going to be perfect. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be amazing.

Each day I’m learning to appreciate the present and accept my current situation. I have a goal and I want to achieve it but I learned to enjoy the journey. Many experiences in my life were not part of my goal but they are still great memories and some taught me important things. I never planned to work at at a club, Hard Rock Café and as a bartender. I never planned to live in hostels, dirty houses and with weird housemates. However, these were all experiences I had in my life and they made good stories and are now remembered as fun times. They were not specific situations that made me achieve my goals but they were still part of it. I had to work and live at these places to get my life started in Europe and sometimes to be able to get closer to what I wanted. I lived in a dirty house with weird housemates while I took the course that enabled me to be a teacher right now.

One step at time and working hard you can get closer and closer to the life you want. But still not perfect because perfect is overrated.

 

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10 Questions To Make You Think – November

I’ve bought a book called Q&A a day. It’s a 5-year journal with one question a day to be answered each year. It’s good because it makes you think about your life at the moment and reflect on things.

Q&A a day

I know I’m a bit late but I decided to select 10 questions from November that might be useful to give you insights about yourself and what you could change or improve. They will make you think about what you’re happy with and what you need to do to achieve more happiness. I plan to post 10 questions at the end of each month.

So here are 10 questions to make you think:

  1. What’s your biggest expense right now?
    Since we were talking about money in the last post (10 ways money can buy happiness), this question can help you think if you’re spending your money on something that’s important and worth it. Could you spend less money on that?
  2. What should remain as-is?
    Be aware of what is good in your life right now. What if it changed? Take the time to think about how to keep it the same and how to accept and deal with it if it ends up changing.
  3. Where do you find pleasure?
    Pleasure is not happiness but it can bring good times. Can you spare some time for your own pleasure? I’m sure you deserve it.
  4. What do you always avoid?
    It’s important to think about why you avoid it and what consequences this might have in your life.
  5. Is there anything missing in your life?
    It might be something possible to achieve. Why is it missing? Do you really need it? If so, what can you do to achieve it?
  6. What do you have to get done?
    Sometimes we postpone things for silly reasons. We’re lazy or it’s hassle but there’s a huge relief in getting something done. So whatever it is, why haven’t you done it yet? Maybe you need more time, maybe you need courage, maybe you need a push.
  7. Who inspires you?
    I think a good thing to focus on here is why this person inspires you and how you can inspire others in the same way.
  8. What was the last risk you took?
    Risks usually teach us something. They might be scary and have a bad outcome or they might bring something amazing. Either way, you learn.
  9. What five words describe your mood?
    Are they good or bad words? If they’re good, appreciate it. If they’re bad, how can you improve your mood?
  10. What song could be your self-portrait?
    Songs can have special meanings. If a song is your self-portrait, it better be a positive portrait.

4 Things You Don’t Have To Do To Be Happy

Many people believe that these four things are part of life. You can’t escape them. Everyone must follow this pattern. It’s just the way it is.

Yes, all the items in this list can bring happiness. However, you don’t need any of these things to be happy. You can choose to follow this or not and it’s your decision. Don’t let society convince you to do any of those things. Think carefully about them and decide if they are for you or not. Because one things is true: they are not for everyone. People are different and they have the right to choose a different path. No one’s path is the same.

1. You don’t have to have a religion. 

But whatever you decide to do, there are some things to consider:

Don’t judge people because of their (lack of) religion.
Don’t let someone else (not even your parents) choose your religion or what you believe in. It’s something very personal.
Don’t be arrogant about it and don’t try to convince others that you’re right and they’re wrong.
And most importantly, don’t hurt people in any way because of your choices.

2. You don’t have to get  a job. 

This might sound crazy. How can I survive if I don’t have a job?

Fortunately, there are many ways to make money that don’t involve getting a job.

Steve Pavlina wrote a great eye-opening article about it and you can read it here.

3. You don’t have to get married.

For some people, a wedding is a dream come true. But sometimes people get married for all the wrong reasons.

It’s tempting to get married because everyone you know is getting married or you are afraid to be alone or it’s an ‘easier’ and sometimes cheaper way to live.

However, getting out of a marriage is much more complicated than getting in.

It’s not only about love. You can love each other and even live together and be happy but not get married.

If marriage is really important to you in a deeper way, fair enough. If not, think twice.

4. You don’t have to have kids.

This is one of the most important ones. Having kids is a huge responsibility and there are so many people that should never do it.

This is different from getting married. Here you should not only ask yourself if this is what you really want but also ask yourself if you’re ready and if you have what it takes.

You’re responsible for raising, educating and loving a person and depending on the job you do, you can either make this world a better place or a worse place. So if you do decide to have kids, make sure you’re raising them to make this world better.

Happiness And Things I Learned From Buddhism

There are only two basic things that everybody wants: be happy and avoid suffering. If you think about it, all the other things are included in those two. If it’s that simple, why is it so difficult to be happy?

I’ll tell you why: because people don’t know what really makes them happy.

If something is a cause of happiness, it can never be a cause of suffering or pain. If you eat something delicious, it will bring you pleasure. If you eat it too much, it will give you a stomachache. You might love your job but if you work too much, you’ll be exhausted. And so on.

Therefore, none of these things can actually make you happy.

Nothing that you have or even that you do can make you happy. Only what you feel can bring real happiness.

You can feel love, compassion, respect, forgiveness, patience as much as you want and it will never cause you pain. Good feelings are the only true cause of happiness.