“If we took time to explore the real root causes of all forms of stress, we would find that both lazy and distorted thinking lie behind the various emotions that we find stressful. In most developed cultures, no-one tells us that we are each responsible for our own thoughts and feelings. We miss learning the lesson of inner self-responsibility which reminds us that we create our own stress in life by the way we perceive and respond to others and the world.” – Mike George
We tend to blame other people for the way we feel. Someone ‘made’ you angry or sad. However, the truth is no-one can make you feel anything, except yourself. Most of us over-analyse and pay attention to everyone and everything around us all the time. Instead of projecting our stress onto others, we need to learn how to train our own emotions and our mind. But how do we do that?
- Self-knowledge (you can start with these questions)
- Therapy if necessary
- Acting from the heart
Any other ideas?
Happiness is a skill
Life is full of choices
The project is finally over and since it’s the beginning of the year, it’s time to start answering all the questions again and notice the changes in your life. That’s when it goes beyond just answers and becomes self-improvement.
Click to see the posts and answer the questions for each month:
November (first one so it explains everything)
So this post has been here since September but as I said, I didn’t have time to update the website. I realise it’s absurdly late but that’s the last post of questions and it completes the project. I’ll make a post with all of them next.
- What do you crave?
Sometimes you can allow yourself some little pleasures. We make a lot of resolutions and objectives and try to control ourselves but every once in a while we should just let go.
- In three words, describe your love life.
Whether we like it or not, our love life has a big influence on our happiness. We should try to remember that happiness is within ourselves and that we shouldn’t depend on anyone else for our happiness. (I’ll be honest and say I find it hard to follow this advice most times).
- Do you have any new friends?
Friends make everything so much better. There are so many amazing people in this world. I’m sure you have great friends but there’s always room for one more.
- Are you happy with your choices today?
This is something that’s extremely important. We make choices all the time and then we have to live with them so make sure your choices are making you happy and following your principles.
- What is your biggest dream?
Make sure you’re taking steps to achieve it, even if they are really small steps. Don’t leave your dream tucked away in a closet.
- What makes you feel wonderful?
Make sure you have more of that every day 🙂
- You need patience for _________.
Patience requires practice. Think about it positively: “This was brought into my life to help me improve my patience.”
- How much time do you spend commuting?
Commuting is sometimes part of life but we need to make sure it’s worth it. If you can find a useful way to spend your commuting time, even if it’s just in silence meditating then it’s not wasted time. But if commuting is making you miserable then it might be time for some changes.
- Who do you count on?
It’s always important to remember who are the people we can look for in troubled times. Be grateful and don’t take them for granted.
- How do you feel about your body?
Your body doesn’t have to be perfect but being healthy is a part of happiness. Learn to accept your faults and don’t compare.
The questions are almost coming to an end. After September, it will be only one more month to go. I hope I can think of something to keep this blog interesting. For now, here are the questions:
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
This is a good way to think about your goals. Sometimes what you want to be in five years depends on actions you need to take right now.
- Today you learned __________________.
Every day we learn something but we usually don’t pay attention to these little life lessons we receive.
- Who can help you?
We might be reluctant to ask for help but little things people do can make a big difference in our lives and most people actually like feeling needed.
- Who are the most important people in your life?
Make sure to keep this people close, not necessarily physically close but in the way you deal with the relationships.
- What’s a new place you’ve recently been to?
This question is related to the last one. It’s very important to have new experiences in life and not let the days just go pass.
- Write down a quote for today.
Quotes can be really inspiring. I think some of the quotes I stumbled upon became sort of mantras or mottos that help me remember what’s important.
- Do you plan or are you flying by the seat of your pants?
It’s good to have a balance so it makes sense to think about this. If you’re always planning, maybe you should try to be spontaneous for a change. If you never plan, you might want to think about your long-term goals and how to achieve them.
- When was the last time you went dancing?
I think the idea here is to think about making time for leisure and for yourself. Maybe dancing is not your thing so you could think of this question as “when was the last time you did something just for fun?”.
- Today was amusing because ____________________.
- How do you get out of a rut?
There are people who actually like routine. However, we need new experiences to feel alive and to put things into perspective.
I haven’t been updating this blog very often because I have been dealing with some emotional issues in the past months. However, I always make sure to post the monthly questions. So here are the ones for August:
- What do you lie about?
I think it’s important to analyse why you lie about it and if there’s a way you can be more honest.
- Who are you?
This question being so general is what makes it good. Only you know who your true self is.
- What are you running from at this moment?
And analyse why you are running from it. What are the consequences of running and not facing it?
- What is your resolution for tomorrow?
And then make sure you complete it.
- What is your favourite thing to do on a Saturday morning?
Plan a Saturday morning when you can do all your favourite things.
- What do you like best about your body today?
Sometimes we forget to see the good things in ourselves, especially when it comes to appearance. We are always so worried about looking better.
- If you had to spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do?
Maybe you can find some time to do it a little bit more on a daily basis.
- What’s the best part about your life right now?
Again, it’s always good to remember the positive side of things.
- What’s your simplest pleasure?
Sometimes the simplest things are the ones that makes us the happiest.
- Write your recipe for creativity.